Its handbags at dawn for these two silly Queens

Time to grasp your jewellery with all your life.  Gulp down that Gin and tonic. Batten down the hatches.  Pull up the drawbridges and let battle commence.  This is going to be a tantrum like no other as Queen Sofia of Spain and Queen Elizabeth of Great Britain go head-to-head over none other than 2.6 square-miles called Gibraltar.

Queen Sofia of Spain will not be attending a vast lunch for the world’s remaining monarchs at Windsor Castle tomorrow.  The lavish affair is being held to celebrate Queen Elizabeth’s Jubilee.  But the Queen of Spain will not be there because of an alleged screaming session over Gibraltar.

The fact that the Earl and Countess of Wessex (yawn) are planning to visit the minuscule piece of land on Spain’s southwest corner has sent rumblings through the Spanish royal court the likes of which haven’t been heard in years.

To recap (for those in the slightest bit interested) Gibraltar has been under British control for nearly 300 years following its capture in 1704 by British and Dutch forces during the War of the Spanish succession (stop yawning at the back!). The whole embarrassing thing is reminiscent of the days of the Raj, the British Empire and all that flim-flam that went up in smoke at the end of the war. The fact the British are still bitching like this is completely stupid. How the mighty colonialists have fallen to be scrapping over this is really strange.

Basically the Spanish Queen wants it back and the British Queen ain’t gonna budge. It’s a stalemate and both bejewelled ladies are firmly at loggerheads.  As are the Spanish and British governments who are twittering around like a bunch of old fairies.

The fact that some of us think that the getting together of a few unelected head of states in the 21st century is a tad strange and out of date is neither here nor there.

Lets be honest here, even the toughest of us would not like to get between these two fearsome ladies in a scrap, down a dark alley in Windsor on a moonlit night.

Ian Waugh